Regular readers of this blog will recognise that we hate jargon-filled gobbledygook. Job adverts are among the worst offenders, producing gems such as this:
“Moving from hierarchical structures to a process-based architecture, our success has been based on consistent, integrated teamwork and quality enhancement through people. By ensuring consistency in the development and integration of process plans, you will facilitate the management processes to develop implementation plans for the processes they manage. You will also be involved in business plan modelling, rolling plan methodologies and the measurement of process effectiveness. As Integration Planner, your position will be at the interface of the personal, planning, implementation and measurement matrix.”
So dire is this example quoted by the Plain English Campaign that it prompted the question, “Did anyone get the job and, if so, what are they actually doing?”
As a refreshing antidote to such twaddle, Ian Forsythe, a village shopkeeper, advertised for a part-time sales assistant “with the ability to feign genuine interest in hearing the same customer story every day, six days a week.” While the advert may have been written tongue-in-cheek, Mr Forsythe still expected applicants to be experienced and competent. “The assistant must have five years’ work history in any field (note that a prison term does not count as work history). Articulate, literate and numerate (Confused? You can stop reading now).”
The successful business owner had worked in human resources for twenty years during which he developed his loathing of politically correct job specifications. He explained, “Now I am able to inject a bit of humour into them and tell it straight. Most people find it hilarious and enjoy the frankness of the advert but it has offended some people.”
